Spiritual Bypassing: When Religion Is Used to Avoid Healing
Spiritual bypassing is a term first introduced by therapist Dr. John Welwood. It refers to the use of spiritual ideas or practices to avoid facing painful emotions, unresolved trauma, or psychological wounds. This is especially prevalent in high-control religious environments where ambiguity, emotional vulnerability, or any perceived lack of faith is discouraged or outright condemned.
While spirituality can be a powerful source of healing, when it's used to sidestep discomfort, it delays growth, alienates others, and disconnects us from our true selves. Life is hard. Pain is inevitable. But when we allow space for difficult emotions within our spiritual framework, we open the door to authentic healing and deeper connection—with ourselves, with others, and with our higher power.
What Is Spiritual Bypassing?
Dr. Welwood began using the term "spiritual bypassing" in the mid-1980s. As both a Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist, he worked at the intersection of spirituality and psychology, especially within the field of transpersonal psychology. He defined spiritual bypassing as:
"When individuals use spiritual concepts or practices as a way to sidestep or avoid confronting difficult emotions, past traumas, and unfinished developmental tasks."
Spiritual bypassing can take many forms, including:
Toxic positivity – Excessive focus on positive thinking while dismissing or invalidating negative emotions, leading to emotional suppression and unresolved struggles.
Repression of emotions – The unconscious blocking of distressing feelings or memories, preventing them from being processed and potentially leading to psychological and physical issues.
Avoidance of responsibilities – The act of neglecting or refusing to acknowledge personal obligations, often due to fear, anxiety, or a desire to escape discomfort or consequences.
Poor boundaries – Weak or unclear personal limits that allow others to violate one’s emotional, physical, or mental well-being, often leading to stress, resentment, and burnout.
How Religion Can Enable Spiritual Bypassing
Religious environments can unknowingly encourage spiritual bypassing in several ways:
Overemphasis on faith as a fix-all: Phrases like "just pray about it," "let go and let God," or "Jesus take the wheel" can minimize complex emotional experiences. Members of the LGBTQ+ community are often told to "pray the gay away," turning genuine identity struggles into perceived spiritual failures.
Suppressing emotions labeled as sinful: Many are taught that emotions like anger, doubt, and grief are spiritual weaknesses. This leads to repression and, over time, emotional numbness. When one emotion is shut down, often others—including joy and compassion—are as well.
Using religious dogma to avoid accountability: Sometimes harmful actions or dismissive behavior are justified as "God’s will" or framed as spiritual concern. For example, hurting someone "out of love" to save their soul or using doctrine to dismiss another’s pain.
Shaming mental health struggles: Many are made to feel that depression or anxiety is a sign of weak faith. This compounds their suffering with guilt and leads to isolation rather than support.
The Consequences of Spiritual Bypassing
When spiritual bypassing becomes a pattern, it can have lasting psychological and relational consequences:
Emotional stagnation – When we avoid difficult emotions through spiritual means, we stay stuck in a cycle of denial and miss out on real emotional growth and healing.
Unresolved trauma – Painful past experiences remain unprocessed, often resurfacing as anxiety, depression, or unhealthy coping behaviors.
Increased guilt and shame – When emotional or mental struggles are seen as spiritual failures, people internalize blame and avoid seeking help.
Strained relationships – Avoidance of vulnerability and emotional honesty can make it hard to form authentic, meaningful connections.
Disconnection from self – Prioritizing rigid beliefs over emotional truth distances people from their authentic thoughts, feelings, and desires.
Disconnection from authentic spirituality – True spiritual growth requires honesty and self-awareness. Bypassing creates a superficial faith experience that lacks depth and transformation.
Breaking Free from Spiritual Bypassing
Healing begins with honesty. Here are some ways to move forward:
Acknowledge your emotions: Give yourself permission to feel anger, sadness, grief, and doubt. They are part of being human—and part of spiritual growth.
Embrace the coexistence of faith and mental health care: Therapy, medication, and counseling do not contradict faith. They can be expressions of it.
Seek trauma-informed or spiritually aware counselors: Look for professionals who understand both emotional healing and spiritual frameworks.
Initiate honest conversations within your faith community: When safe to do so, challenge stigmas and speak up about the need for emotional and mental support.
Conclusion: Real Healing Is Holistic
Spiritual bypassing offers a false sense of peace. It may feel easier in the moment, but it stunts real growth and connection. True healing means facing your pain, honoring your emotions, and integrating your spirituality with your full, authentic self.
If you grew up in a high-control religious environment and are ready to confront the emotional toll it took, you don’t have to do it alone.
At Firestorm Counseling, we specialize in helping people untangle religious trauma, burnout, and emotional suppression. You deserve to feel whole—not just spiritually, but emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Reach out today to schedule a consultation.
Your healing is sacred. Let’s begin.
